I, Judas

Who was Judas?

Judas was a disciple chosen by Jesus.
Judas was a hearer of all Jesus’ sermons.
Judas was a witness to Jesus’ many miracles.
Judas was a “sent one”, an apostle, sent out by Jesus to preach the gospel.
Judas was one empowered by Jesus to heal the sick and cast out demons.
Judas was washed, his feet were washed by Jesus.
Judas betrayed Jesus.

All of these, yes, even the last one, could be said of each disciple, so what was different about Judas? He had all the same opportunities and experiences the other disciples had. He had been offered salvation, heard the truth from the Author Himself, saw miraculous proof of God’s power, even had miracles performed through him. He testified about Jesus, was washed by Him, bathed in the truth, and yet, in the end, the devil possessed him, and he offered Jesus up to be killed by the Jews. Was he simply used by God as a fulfillment of prophecy? Was he saved but then lost his salvation? Or, given the character of God, was Judas given the opportunity to be accepted, redeemed, and transformed, and he rejected it?

I believe Judas represents every lost person who ends up in judgment cut off from God. We all have the potential to be Judas in any part of our walk with God if we do what Judas did, though we don’t have to end up where he did. Judas’ heart was hard, set against God, and while God did good things through him as he went through the motions, He was never able to good things in him, because of his hard, unrepentant heart. Though there isn’t much written about Judas specifically, I believe a lot can be understood by the little that is written about his character. This list demonstrates a few ways in which Judas’ heart was set against God.

A matter of choice

"Serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, [then] choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." 
Josh 24:15

Judas was one of 12 men chosen by Jesus to be His disciples. These men were set apart by Him, each destined to fulfill a purpose, each selected for salvation and glory. Yes, I believe even Judas was selected for salvation, to be an apostle for the gospel, destined by God for a holy purpose. Why then do we see in scripture that this is not how things happened for Judas? How can Judas be predestined for holiness and yet end up suffering in judgment, lost instead of saved?

There is a lot of scripture that would need to be cited to properly explain the relationship between God’s sovereignty and our free will, but here is a very simple version. God wills that none should perish. In other words, God has predestined us all for salvation, but we have a will of our own, so we can choose to deny our given destiny, that is, to walk our own path. There are only two paths, a wide one and a narrow one. God’s narrow path leads to life, and our own wide one leads to death. We choose either to accept God’s mercy and life or accept our just judgment and death. It’s a matter of choice.

The people called Israel were chosen by God, yet they still had a choice on whether to serve Him or not. Similarly, Jesus chose His twelve disciples, and eleven of them received their election, accepted their God appointed destiny. Judas did not. This rejection of his God appointed identity and purpose was a result of his hard heart, a heart opposed to God’s will.

A matter of faith

"For indeed the gospel was preached to us as well as to [those led out of Egypt]; but the word which they heard did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in those who heard it."
Hebrews 4:2

Judas heard what Jesus preached to the people. He was privy to even the private lessons Jesus gave to His disciples when the crowds weren’t around. He was tutored with the other eleven. Yet, we find no growth in him. He stole from the money pouch, greedy for what it could do for him. In the metaphors of the parable of the sower, Judas’ heart would have been the thorny soil, and though he heard the word, the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choked it to death, making it unfruitful.

To phrase this differently, he could not bring himself to trust in God to provide for him, to redeem him. He couldn’t see past the mundane struggle of survival and ambition, that there was more to life than what he could attain through wealth and ease. He was blinded to God’s better plan and destiny, to the heavenly treasure of his inheritance that far outstrips any earthly wealth. So it was his lack of faith that made the word he heard unfruitful. The hardness of his heart remained an impenetrable mess of thorns that choked out any life he might receive.

A matter of compassion

"Why then do you harden your hearts as the Egyptians and Pharaoh hardened their hearts?"
1 Sam 6:6

Judas’ greed, his proclivity to steal, indicates his heart was in perpetual survival mode. That means his focus was on self. How does this benefit me? How do I keep my intentions hidden? How is this relevant to my goals? How do I turn this to my advantage? And so on. Yes, Judas saw many miracles performed by Jesus, but none of them benefitted him. None of them really put food in his belly, put money on his belt, granted him prosperity, or made him prestigious.

His self-centered focus kept his heart hard, never allowed compassion to soften it. His tight fisted grip on caring about his own welfare kept him from apprehending and comprehending the mercy and compassion Jesus showed so many. In my opinion, Judas couldn’t grasp Jesus’ ministry of love, His tendency to have mercy on the poor and downtrodden, and on the sick and social outcasts. I get the distinct impression he was of the same mindset as many of the Jews, that Jesus was supposed to be the warrior-king messiah that came to relieve them of the oppression of the Roman empire and I feel that Judas likely regarded Jesus and His suffering servant ministry with secret distaste and scorn.

It’s the same self-serving superior attitude that Pharoah and the Egyptians had. The only time Pharoah made like he was repentant was when it served him. As soon as a plague was removed and he got the result he wanted, he went back on his word. This same spirit in Pharoah seemed to be in Judas, and this is why I believe the miracles he witnessed did nothing to move his stony heart. They didn’t serve him or his image of what the messiah should be. Compassion did nothing to further his ambition.

A matter of intimacy

"Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied [preached] in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’"
Mat 7:22-23

"For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power [to save]."
2 Tim 3:2-5

Judas was a hypocrite, outwardly a follower of Jesus but inwardly he was rebellious, without faith or compassion, a lover of money and self, having the form of godliness, but none of its transformative power. In other words, he knew Jesus, was familiar with His teachings, even taught them himself; he experienced God’s power working through him but still he did not know the Father and worse, he was unknown by Him. I feel this speaks to some spiritual leaders today. They have some of the right words, teaching in the style of Jesus and on the topics that Jesus taught on. They even have mighty miracles performed through them, and great moves of God are initiated through them, yet we see epic moral failures and hidden sins come to light, showing despite how they seemed, they never really knew the Father as they could have.

The closer we draw to the Father, the closer He draws to us. This is a spiritual law spoken of in several places in scripture, “in the measure you give, so it will be given to you.” Our words, our actions, and the ability of the Spirit to move powerfully through us should be signs of a deep relationship with God. However, these aren’t necessarily undeniable indicators of one. When we know God and are known by Him, sinful tendencies, wrongful assumptions, and erroneous thinking are brought to light. When we continue to draw near Him despite this, our character is permanently altered, changed in a fundamental way, cleansed at a “molecular” level and sin’s root lose its purchase, withers and dies.

But when we evade acknowledging our sin, we avoid correction and refuse to embrace spiritual discipline, then we merely live a superficial “spiritual” life, and we’re simply deceiving ourselves and those around us. When we merely modify our behavior, without allowing God to renew our mind, without being committed to holiness and we adopt the world’s view of tolerance and subjective truth, and we don’t pursue His kingdom and righteousness, we will always be a weak synchronistic “alloy” of iron and clay. There is no true intimacy with God when we hold back and hold out. Clinging to even a little of the world is giving up everything of God. A little sin is corruption absolute.

Yes, being perfected, being purified is a process, but a commitment to not defiling oneself is not. It’s a decision, settled in the heart, with no allowance for argument or second guessing. There are no appeals or amendments allowed. It is a fundamental truth accepted, ratified, and sealed as permanent and as immutable as God’s throne. This is where intimacy and obedience come from. This is where true unity with God begins. Judas was not committed to holiness and did not seek intimacy with God.

A matter of repentance

But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
Romans 2:5

I said earlier that all the disciples had betrayed Jesus and this is true because Peter denied knowing Him when confronted and the rest scattered, abandoning Jesus for fear of joining him. These actions were indeed betrayals. However, their hearts were not set in opposition to Jesus. They merely allowed fear to speak louder than faith in a crucial moment of crisis. Judas, however, chose to oppose Jesus and set Him up to be killed. He became party to the ones who told Pilate, “Let His blood be upon us and our children.” He was as unrepentant as they, but he could not claim ignorance as he had been privy to the deeper things of God and an active part of God’s redemptive plan. In this, the prophetic psalm was fulfilled, “Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me.” Ps. 41:9

Judas’ primary motivation, the one avenue the devil used to move Judas to do what he wanted, was his greed. “What are you willing to give me if I hand Him over to you?” Judas betrayed Jesus over 30 pieces of silver, about 4 months wages. A short-term windfall at best. In essence, he sold his birthright, an eternal inheritance, for a bowl of stew, a temporary and inconsequential trade, just like Esau. The same spirit. The same consequence. Cut off from the blessings of Abraham, cut off from God. The disdain and contempt he treated the proffered precious gift of salvation and the lack of reverence and gratitude for the immeasurable mercy offered him was tragic, and it cost him everything.

He had willfully and consciously chosen darkness, death, and eternal separation, but like with all sin, the full import of its consequence doesn’t fit within the narrow lens of our desire until it’s over, and only the desolate landscape of it’s “reward” completely fills our view. Sin makes you miss the forest for the trees. Judas’ heart was so hardened and unrepentant toward God that only after it was too late did he realize the grave reality of what he had done and what it had cost him.

In summary

It is said that God loves you as you are. That isn’t entirely accurate. God doesn’t love what you’ve become. God loves you for who you are, His beloved creation, destined to be like Him and with Him. God loves you where you are at, but He loves you too much to leave you there. God is not surprised and knows ultimately what you will choose, yet He does not write you off as lost causes and will give you every opportunity to repent, even if death is your chosen destiny. Judas is the prime example of this. Jesus knew the heart of the man He had chosen. Ultimately, Judas’ self-chosen destiny fulfills prophecy, and God uses it to bring about salvation for all mankind through the death, burial, and resurrection of His Son. So even though Judas’ choice brought about his own destruction, God turned what was meant for evil into an opportunity for redemption of the whole world.

I believe Judas was given the opportunity to be accepted, redeemed, and transformed, and he rejected it. In this way, we are all Judas. We are all destined for salvation if we so choose, and if we believe. If we allow the compassion and mercy of God to change us and if we turn to Him, and seek and embrace intimacy with Him, we will receive an inheritance to which nothing in this world can compare. We will be transformed into His glorious image, the image of love. Eternal joy is our destiny or eternal regret and emptiness without relief. The question is, which will we choose, the way of Judas or the way of Jesus?